How do you escape the friend zone?
MAKE A MOVE!
“The hero and the coward both feel the same thing, but the hero uses his fear and projects it onto his opponent, while the coward runs.” ~ Cus D’Amato
You should never get into the friend zone. If you happen to be in the friend zone, then you need to make a move. Unfortunately, that’s not how life works and I understand that. I feel for you.
Nobody wants to get fat, be stuck in the friend zone, be in debt, or be in an atrocious situation. Life happens and we find ourselves stuck in a place where we don’t want to be. Luckily, all of your problems can be solved in this day and age with the help of technology and all of the information that it brings.
So what happened here? How are you in the friend zone?
You’re trapped for a reason. You didn’t make your intentions clear and now you’re stuck in this hideous position that you can’t get out of.
Moving forward, I want you to remember that the best way out of the friend zone is to simply never get into it (don’t stress, we also cover this in great detail as well!).
How can you avoid the friend zone for the rest of your life?
Always go for the move.
Go for the kiss when you first meet. Don’t be afraid to show how you feel by making a move or at least let it be known that you’re going to make a move in the near future.
In society, we respect those who are bold and audacious. We don’t praise cowards. You will never hear a story get passed down for generations about the guy who lived in fear. This is why I believe in instant make outs. I don’t want you to get charged for sexual assault. I just want you to go in for ma kiss earlier than you normally do. I don’t want you to wait around aimlessly while your crush gets fed up because you’re afraid of even looking at her.
Make eye contact to show your confidence. Lean in. Go for the kiss. If she doesn’t pull away and your lips connect, she’ll be impressed by your bravado. If she pulls away or is offended, then she has no interest in you. You could have been just plain creepy.
You have to push it to the limit. You have to make things uncomfortable sometimes so that you can see if she has interest in you. No girl gets excited about spending a night with the boring guy. Why would they?
The instant make out strategy is simply all about going for the kiss inappropriately early. It’s bold, brave, and it works. The worst-case scenario is that she turns and you kiss her on the cheek. She’s going to respect you for at least letting it be known how you feel and that you would love to kiss her, because you’re not just a friend.
A few ways to shoot for the instant make out are:
- Ask her a question. When she starts talking, tell her that she talks too much as you smile and quickly go for a kiss.
- Ask her if she remembers her first kiss. Then ask her if she remembers her last kiss. Tell her she’s incorrect about her last kiss and go in for one.
- Ask her if you should kiss her now or later when you first meet up. Then go in for the kiss.These are just random scenarios that I came up with off the top of my head. Yes, I know that they sound very corny. The beauty is that in life, it doesn’t matter what you say or what you do. What matters is how you say things and how you do things. Give the instant make out a try and tell me how it goes.
I’ll say it again: your crush has to know where you stand. Don’t be afraid to drop a sign or to let her know that you’re interested. Don’t be vague about it either.
You’re not playing it cool if you don’t make a move forever. You’re just being a little coward that doesn’t go after what he wants in life.
There’s a huge difference between being coy and being a coward. Coy works sometimes. Coward never works.
I’ll say it again: instant make out!
I promise you that pulling off instant make outs has allowed me to meet girls who were WAY out of my league. They respected my temerity.
One time I went for the instant make out and the girl wasn’t feeling it at all. What happened? She stopped me! No big deal. I’m still alive. She laughed it off. I laughed it off. We both moved on with our lives. It turns out she was apprehensive about letting any guy near her due to past experiences and I totally understand that. I apologized for coming on too strong.
Put her in the friend zone.
You read that correctly. This is another risky solution that won’t work 100% of the time, but is absolute magic when it does work. Don’t give her a chance to put you in the friend zone. Put her there first.
“This is my friend Kathy.”
I introduced a girl I was on a date with as my friend to my friends. I actually did this multiple times. Over and over again.
“I’m not your friend!”
She snapped on me finally. She got really frustrated with me introducing her as my friend to everyone. She couldn’t take it. She didn’t like the feeling of being referred to as a friend.
Tell your crush about other girls.
If you never talk about other girls or what you’re up to, it’s going to make you look like you’re madly in love with her. You don’t want that. Don’t be afraid to go out and have fun. Don’t be nervous to meet other girls. You’re single, fun, and cool.
Go on a few dates. Let her know about these dates so that she knows she’s on thin ice. Keep her posted about other girls who you’re talking to so that she knows you’re a prize.
Nobody wants you until somebody has you.
This advice may sound childish, but it’s the reality of the situation. We all want what we can’t have. Why would she date you if she thinks that nobody else on this planet is remotely interested in you?
She’s going to have a ton more respect for you when she finds out that you’re actually enjoying life and not waiting at home for her to respond to your text.
Stop being so available.
I was crazy about this chick in high school and she wanted nothing to do with me when I tried to instant message her on MSN Messenger. Then one day I created a new MSN Messenger account (sucks to be you if you never were on MSN or watched Saved By The Bell growing up) because my account was hacked. I added all of my friends again. I didn’t add her because I knew that she didn’t like me. I just gave up. I didn’t want to add someone who ignored me.
Then all of a sudden, she started chasing me. She told her friends to message me. She tried inviting me to become contacts (bigger deal than it sounds). She even lectured me for not adding her.
I was confused. She didn’t like me. She made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with me Why did she suddenly care about chatting with me? Why did this happen?
I unexpectedly wasn’t so available. I wasn’t desperate to send her a hello or to follow-up 20 times on a question.
Of course, I messed this up by becoming needy all over again. You live, you learn.
When your crush asks you to do something, don’t be so quick to do it. You can’t be so available. She can’t miss you if you’re never gone.
You really need to stop the daily phone calls and promptly responding to every single text message.
Who does she think you are? Some sucker? Some loser? Some dude who has nobody else to talk to at all?
You have your own life, your own plans, and your own goals. You can’t be sitting by the phone waiting to jump at any opportunity to communicate or to drive her somewhere.
Being needy and available 24/7 will land you right in the friend zone.
Create some mystery so that she thinks about you when you’re not around. You want her to miss you. You want her to chase you. You’d be surprised by how many ladies out there are dying for a challenge. Beautiful girls are bored. They’re tired of guys complimenting them and pandering on social media all of the time.
Be ready to walk away.
If you’re not ready to lose her, just give up. You have to be ready to walk away or to move on at any second.
Females can smell desperation from a mile away. You have to be ready to move on if she’s not on board. If you’re crazy about her and can’t breathe without her, this will turn her off. She won’t be attracted to you. I don’t know why this is the case, but it just is. Trust me on this one.
Are you ready to walk away? Could you handle life without her if things don’t work out?
If you’re not ready to walk away just yet, you need to keep on reading because I’m going to help you with this. It’s easier said than done. I too have struggled with walking away.
Never agree to be put in a compromising situation.
There are certain situations that all guys need to avoid. Don’t let her cry to you about other guys or her love life. Don’t let her treat you like a brother. Don’t let her put you in a position where you’re going to quickly find yourself stuck as a friend.
You need to avoid all compromising situations moving forward or I’m going to suplex you.
Some common examples include:
- Going to her birthday party to shower her with attention with the dozens of other guys there.
- Meeting her boyfriend (seriously!).
- Meeting her friends too soon.
- Driving her around when she feels like treating you like a taxi.
- Listening to stories about female problems and other guys.
- Hanging out with her and her friends.
- Being the shoulder to cry on.
- Hearing about other dudes she’s talking to.
Have some self-respect! Once you get placed in a compromising position, you’re going to have a difficult time digging out of the friend zone. You’re better off ignoring her invites than you are showing up and looking like a loser.
Make her chase you!
Use her game against her! Let her chase you. Don’t be so quick to appease her, you coward.
She has to chase you. You’re the catch and you need to start acting like it.
This means that you need to ditch her sometimes, break plans, leave early, end the conversation first, and just be the one in control of the situation.
This applies to you if you’re already in the friend zone or if you want to avoid it. Flip the script as soon as possible!
Stop being so needy.
“Everybody pities the weak; jealousy you have to earn.” ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger
Do you really want her pity? No. You want her to chase you because you’re the prize. Nobody has time for a needy person. We all have that needy friend who has to message us about everything. This friend demands your attention 24/7. You can’t stand it. So imagine how the girl feels if you’re a needy bitch?
I’ve seen too many of my buddies lose girls because they became needy. I don’t know why this happens. A guy will go from being a confident stud to a needy dweeb in a matter of seconds.
I won’t even pretend to lie. This has also happened to me. We can all go from feeling confident to needy in the blink of an eye. There’s nothing I can tell you here that’s going to provide you with an on/off switch for your neediness, so I’ll say this.
Think about why she liked you in the first place or why the last girl fell for you. She was attracted to your confidence and security. Just as quickly as she was attracted to your confidence, she can just as quickly be turned off by your neediness.
Have some damn confidence.
“Do you maybe want to go out sometime for a drink or something?”
That’s pathetic. I couldn’t help but laugh when a friend told me how he sent that classic line out to his crush via text.
Why even bother?
The most pathetic thing a man can do is to show any hesitation at all. Think about this for a second. If the girl happens to be somewhat attractive, she meets plenty of guys on a daily basis. What makes you think that your pathetic offer is going to impress her?
Don’t even waste your time. Don’t waste her time.
Be confident when you’re asking her out. I’m guilty of crossing the line and becoming arrogant, but that’s just me.
I’ll go as far as to assume that the answer is a yes. Some of my classic lines are (stolen from friends, experts and media):
- You better dress cute when we hang out on Friday.
- Hey, can you stop thinking about me so much?
- You pick the date and I pick the movie.
- I hope you’re ready for a fun night.
- Where are you taking me out this weekend?
Yes, these are arrogant. The good news is that they kill any hint of hesitation or fear. You might get a laugh, you might get a no, or you might just line yourself up with a one-way ticket out of the friend zone. If she calls you arrogant or mocks you, tell her to lighten up because you’re just kidding around. You’re a fun guy who likes to joke around. I’d rather be called arrogant then be placed in the friend zone.
You don’t have to offer the world or profess your love. You’re just making plans for a night out. That’s all. So chill out and show some damn confidence.
That’s how you break free from the friend zone. Not all of these tips will apply to you, but at least one will and that one tip will change your life forever. I don’t care if you’re already in the friend zone or want to avoid it in the future, this chapter alone should help you change your life.
To escape the friend zone, you need to make your intentions clear. You’re not looking to be a human pillow. You’re not going to be the shoulder to cry on. You’re going to be the guy that she’s up all night thinking about. You have to let her know who you are. You don’t have to tell her that you love her, you just have to let her know that you’re not the kind of guy that she can walk all over. You need to be stern when it comes to the friend zone or you’re going to be trapped in it forever.
You have to tell her about other girls so that she’s constantly on thin ice. She won’t be so fast to friend-zone you when she knows that you have options and other females are after you. Nobody wants you until somebody has you. You’ve already experienced this at some point in your life. You lose all interest in the girl and she suddenly wants you back.
You have to let her chase you. You’re the prize. You’re not going to be so available all of the time. She better hope that you respond to that text message. She better hope that you don’t walk away for another lady.
You need to have some damn confidence. Girls aren’t attracted to weak guys. Don’t half-ass anything in life, especially not your courting attempts.
When you’re making plans, always assume that the answer is yes. Why wouldn’t she want to hang out with a fun guy like you? Why wouldn’t anyone want to be around you?
This was a sample chapter from my book on escaping and avoiding the friend zone. This is the best book on the market on this topic. I never want you to feel like a loser again. Life’s far too short to be stuck in the friend zone. Check out the sales page on Amazon and you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the reviews (especially the ones from females!).
Cheers to avoiding the friend zone in the future. We’ve all been there. We can’t look back right now.